"All By Myself"

Do you remember those moments when you were a little kid and you would try to get dressed in the morning? Then your mom comes into the room and tries to help you, but you tug away and yell, “No Mom, I can do it all by myself!” She then gently backs off and lets you struggle through it. This leads to a tangled mess where your left arm is in the head of your shirt and your head is stuck in a sleeve, and now you can’t see anything. After much consternation and frustration you give into your pride and yell again, but not the way you did a few moments before. It’s a plea, “MOOOOOMMMMM, I’m stuck!”

Mom then comes into the room and graciously, without saying a word, helps you put your clothes on.

I think that my relationship with God is a lot like this. I tend to think I know how to do things and I start doing them on my own, thinking that I don’t need God. And then I get tangled in my clothes and I’m pleading for God to get me out!

The beauty of this is that God never leaves us. I wrote half a song about 2 years ago that I have yet to finish, but here are a few lyrics that I constantly try to sing in my head…

I’m gone again

running from your presence

I’m gone again

but your present in my absence

Cuz you love me still

when I’ve gone against your will

when I’ve spit upon your face

you still cover me with grace

you love me still

Take it or leave it… those may be super cheesy lyrics, but they’re a good reminder for me that while I may be wanting to do things “all by myself,” God pursues me. He loves me still, and in the end, I’m able to surrender myself to Him because of His never-ending love.

I know that it’s not really that easy. Sometimes giving into God is like pulling teeth, or much worse. The Fray has a song called "All at Once" and one of the lines is "sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same". Its kind of like its easier to just pass God off and not care about what's right and wrong. But "sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same". 


I don't think being a Christian means life is going to be breezy.
Sometimes God’s will isn’t what we want in life. It’s not that God doesn’t want us to be happy; it’s just that he knows what’s best for us. Sometimes we need the trials to become who God has called us to be. Just like when we were little kids our moms wanted us to be well dressed, God wants us to be well dressed, but for greater things... To further his kingdom on earth!

And yet, God still lets us make our own decisions. Isn’t that cool?!? He is a loving and trusting God!

So next time you think to yourself, “I’m going to do this all by myself!” Think again my friend, you’re not, you’re going to do it with God, even if you don’t know it yet!

It's A Wonderful Life? I Think So...

So it’s been a while since I’ve blogged lately... I just haven’t had much to say these last few weeks, until now of course.

Last night was Christmas Eve, and our family tradition is to always watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” in our PJ’s, while we drink wassail and eat snacks. It’s probably one of my favorite moments over the Christmas holiday.

While I was watching the movie though, I couldn’t help but relate to the character of George Bailey. He’s the protagonist who, by three-quarters of the movie, comes to think and believe that He is a failure and is insignificant… so he comes to the conclusion that he wishes he’d never been born.

I wouldn’t go so far to say or think those things. He went a bit extreme and fairly quickly if you ask me. But I think we all have those moments when we really wonder if we really are leaving some kind of imprint on the world. Do people really care about us, are we missed when we’re not around, do we actually make a difference? And then sometimes we come to the conclusion, “no”.

Now I know this isn’t true, but these thoughts creep into our minds sometimes, consuming every part of us. Do we matter? Of course we do! Somehow we do. I’m not sure.

But here’s the thing, none of these thoughts really do us any good. I find that when I get into these ruts of doubting my worth, I start throwing pity parties for myself and no one really wants to be my friend then. It’s a dangerous cycle that does no one any good.

Take George Bailey for instance. When he makes this conclusion about not being worth anyone’s time, he takes it out on the people he cares for most, stemming them to be extremely worried for him and stressed out. In the end of the movie when his guardian angel Clarence convinces him that he is important, he is able to celebrate along with his family and friends.

I don’t want to say that its quite that black and white (no pun intended… but it kind of was, wasn’t it, otherwise I wouldn’t have said that ;)… Our minds our complicated places and other people are complicated too. It’s hard to really feel valued in our very self-involved culture. But don’t you think that if you try to show love to others, maybe they can pass it on and then maybe we can all somehow, slowly, overcome this self-doubt we have.

Even if we don’t make a visible difference, we can take pride in the fact that we tried to brighten someone’s day in a small way.

I don’t know, does any of this make sense? or am I just rambling about some mumbo-jumbo.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that if you want to feel fulfilled, choose love above all. If you consider yourself a follower of Christ, you know that this is what God has called us to do; it is a way that we can continue to bring Heaven to earth.

Merry Christmas everyone!