I’ve been a little on the silent side
lately, this may be because I’ve been fairly confused and frustrated about some
things and it’s literally taken me about 4 months to organized my thoughts.
Here’s the thing… I’m tired of being that
girl who says that she’s okay with being single, because truthfully, I’m not. I
have been single for 99.9 percent of my physical existence and ever since the 3rd
grade I have wanted a significant other.
My first crush was a boy named Josh, then
it moved on to Matt (my 4th grade friend, Rachel’s boyfriend), then
Ryan (who liked my second cousin), then Nick. In seventh grade, I was crazy
about Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter) because we had the exact same birthday,
year and all. When eighth grade came I fantasized about the guy who played
Peter Pan in that movie. Freshman year I was crazy about a guy named Grant, I
would take the long way to class just to get a glimpse of him. And then
sophomore year came along and I was crazy for my best friend Ross… We went on a
choir trip to Europe and I was determined to have my first kiss with him on the
Eiffel Tower (that didn’t happen). Then Junior and Senior year, there was Dan,
he was the light of my day… but that was something that would never and will
never happen. Move on to College and then we have Zach, my freshman crush, and
then after him another guy I have finally just gotten over. There were 2 other
guys that were flings, Ben and Jesse. They were stints, moments, and then they
ended.
You’re probably wondering why I am giving
you all this info. Count the number of guys I liked that didn’t like me
back…11… I’m sure there are more, but these are the significant ones, the long
term crushes, the closest things I have to a long term relationship.
Now all of these crushes, I’m thankful that
none of them came into fruition. Because regardless of if my crushes knew if I
liked them or not, they didn’t see me. And even though I did what little
pursuing I thought was appropriate for a girl to do, they still didn’t see me. I
know that I’m an outspoken and fairly independent girl, I still deserve to be
pursued. Now lets move on to my next point.
I think its fair to say that dating has
become somewhat trivial in today’s society, especially for my generation. If
you disagree with me, then you’re nuts.
I think I've made it clear that I haven’t really
ever been in a serious relationship… ever…The thing is that I keep getting told
by other people that I have to take action, join a dating site or be outgoing
and ask a guy out. But what happened to the guy being the pursuer? Why can’t he
buck up and ask a girl out?
So many girls who are in my shoes have been
asking themselves this extremely self-deprecating question: What is wrong with
me? Why aren’t guys interested in me? Why am I in my 20’s and still single?
Then people go on to diagnose. I keep getting told that I am intimidating… I’m
still trying to figure out what that means. But here’s the thing that I’m
slowly realizing. There is nothing wrong with me. Guys are just pansies.
They’re so afraid to have their pride hindered that they never build up the
courage to ask a girl out. Instead, they play games and try to see if the girl
is halfway interested… and sometimes, even if the girl is interested, the guy
loses interest. Well guys, this makes you a coward, and I am disappointed in
you.
What has happened in my generation to make
guys quiver at the thought of asking a girl out on a simple date? Why is it
that a girl has to do so much work to get a guy’s attention? And Why can’t we
just be straight forward with our feelings?
And lets get back to this whole idea that I
(the girl) have to take action… Why do I have to? For hundreds of years, it has
been the guys responsibility to pursue… So man up and pursue! Be a flippin’ Man
and not a little boy!
I don’t want to say that dating websites
are hopeless, because I know quite a few successful couples from these sites.
But as for me I’m going to hold out on this, because I have hope that there is
a MAN out there for me, who is going to have the courage to walk up to me and
ask me out. He’s not going to toy with me and be wishy washy, he’s not going be
half interested and then back away (like some other guys have done to me). The
man I deserve is someone who is confident and sure of himself, he loves Jesus, he
is going to ask me on a proper date and take me out. None of this “hang out as
friends” crap.
Guys if you’re halfway interested in a
girl, be intentional and have courage. If you find out later that its not
right, then just tell her instead of just cutting her off. Yes, it will suck to
have to tell her you’re not interested, but I promise you that in the long run
she will respect you more for just being open and honest.
Some of you may be thinking that I’m being
a little harsh and bitter. And maybe I am. But here’s the thing. As a follower
of Christ, I am looking for the man who is going to be my husband and I (and
many of my friends) need someone who will be the head of the house and
spiritual leader, someone who will be a man.
Ephesians 5:22-27 says this, “Wives, submit
to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as
Christ is the head of the Church, his body, of which he is the Savior…
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up
for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the
word”.
I have a right to say to my Brothers in Christ, to quit
playing games, be respectful and straight forward. Because the games that you
have been playing with me and many other girls are getting old, and you need be
the leaders we need to depend on. You need to be a Man, Man.
