Be A Man, Man

I’ve been a little on the silent side lately, this may be because I’ve been fairly confused and frustrated about some things and it’s literally taken me about 4 months to organized my thoughts.

Here’s the thing… I’m tired of being that girl who says that she’s okay with being single, because truthfully, I’m not. I have been single for 99.9 percent of my physical existence and ever since the 3^rd grade I have wanted a significant other.

My first crush was a boy named Josh, then it moved on to Matt (my 4^th grade friend, Rachel’s boyfriend), then Ryan (who liked my second cousin), then Nick. In seventh grade, I was crazy about Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter) because we had the exact same birthday, year and all. When eighth grade came I fantasized about the guy who played Peter Pan in that movie. Freshman year I was crazy about a guy named Grant, I would take the long way to class just to get a glimpse of him. And then sophomore year came along and I was crazy for my best friend Ross… We went on a choir trip to Europe and I was determined to have my first kiss with him on the Eiffel Tower (that didn’t happen). Then Junior and Senior year, there was Dan, he was the light of my day… but that was something that would never and will never happen. Move on to College and then we have Zach, my freshman crush, and then after him another guy I have finally just gotten over. There were 2 other guys that were flings, Ben and Jesse. They were stints, moments, and then they ended.

You’re probably wondering why I am giving you all this info. Count the number of guys I liked that didn’t like me back…11… I’m sure there are more, but these are the significant ones, the long term crushes, the closest things I have to a long term relationship.

Now all of these crushes, I’m thankful that none of them came into fruition. Because regardless of if my crushes knew if I liked them or not, they didn’t see me. And even though I did what little pursuing I thought was appropriate for a girl to do, they still didn’t see me. I know that I’m an outspoken and fairly independent girl, I still deserve to be pursued. Now lets move on to my next point.

I think its fair to say that dating has become somewhat trivial in today’s society, especially for my generation. If you disagree with me, then you’re nuts.

I think I've made it clear that I haven’t really ever been in a serious relationship… ever…The thing is that I keep getting told by other people that I have to take action, join a dating site or be outgoing and ask a guy out. But what happened to the guy being the pursuer? Why can’t he buck up and ask a girl out?

So many girls who are in my shoes have been asking themselves this extremely self-deprecating question: What is wrong with me? Why aren’t guys interested in me? Why am I in my 20’s and still single? Then people go on to diagnose. I keep getting told that I am intimidating… I’m still trying to figure out what that means. But here’s the thing that I’m slowly realizing. There is nothing wrong with me. Guys are just pansies. They’re so afraid to have their pride hindered that they never build up the courage to ask a girl out. Instead, they play games and try to see if the girl is halfway interested… and sometimes, even if the girl is interested, the guy loses interest. Well guys, this makes you a coward, and I am disappointed in you.

What has happened in my generation to make guys quiver at the thought of asking a girl out on a simple date? Why is it that a girl has to do so much work to get a guy’s attention? And Why can’t we just be straight forward with our feelings?

And lets get back to this whole idea that I (the girl) have to take action… Why do I have to? For hundreds of years, it has been the guys responsibility to pursue… So man up and pursue! Be a flippin’ Man and not a little boy!

I don’t want to say that dating websites are hopeless, because I know quite a few successful couples from these sites. But as for me I’m going to hold out on this, because I have hope that there is a MAN out there for me, who is going to have the courage to walk up to me and ask me out. He’s not going to toy with me and be wishy washy, he’s not going be half interested and then back away (like some other guys have done to me). The man I deserve is someone who is confident and sure of himself, he loves Jesus, he is going to ask me on a proper date and take me out. None of this “hang out as friends” crap.

Guys if you’re halfway interested in a girl, be intentional and have courage. If you find out later that its not right, then just tell her instead of just cutting her off. Yes, it will suck to have to tell her you’re not interested, but I promise you that in the long run she will respect you more for just being open and honest.

Some of you may be thinking that I’m being a little harsh and bitter. And maybe I am. But here’s the thing. As a follower of Christ, I am looking for the man who is going to be my husband and I (and many of my friends) need someone who will be the head of the house and spiritual leader, someone who will be a man.

Ephesians 5:22-27 says this, “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church, his body, of which he is the Savior… Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word”.

I have a right to say to my Brothers in Christ, to quit playing games, be respectful and straight forward. Because the games that you have been playing with me and many other girls are getting old, and you need be the leaders we need to depend on. You need to be a Man, Man.